i had been perusing the intertubes recently when i stumbled upon a rather tasty review. it was on this site of sites that i discovered a review of the new haagen dazs limited edition ice cream ” vanilla honey bee”.  the author of the article said she went back and cleaned the store out of their remaining supply.

normally i have to avoid ice cream due to a mild case of lactose intolerance. this has always been a doubled edged sword for me. it has most likely kept my teeth a hair bit healthier than if i were to be left to my own devices without any gastric repercussions. in turn however this forced moderation has led me forgo many a tasty treat. utterly ridiculous i say! (get it with the dairy and the thing. ok no more bad jokes. :)) this time i decided it sounded like it would be worth the risk. besides the packaging looked nifty so what could go wrong.

in an effort not to be selfish i decided i would buy it not only for myself but for my office mate the bubble gum girl. bgg has been my bff at work and might enjoy this as well. so i ventured off to the local produce establishment for the goods. the small freezer containing it was oddly located on the end of an isle and is about the size of an over sized fridge. however what makes this location particularly peculiar is that it is a full isle away from the frozen food section to its left and a full isle away from dairy and other goods needing refrigeramation to its right. to make things tricky the doors open into the main foot traffic so that if you do decided to purchase a pint of heaven you have to stop traffic in both directions while everyone waits for you to stuff your junk food in your mini basket. now how am i supposed to become fat and toothless with this kind of pressure? i mean everyone knows the reason grocery stores have long isles with junk food in the middle is so that when you grab your food no one can see your face from either end because your to far away. thus you make a clean get away guilt free.

despite these adversities i pressed on. as stood in front of the freezer i began to reach for the handle. i could see the faces of the patrons begin to drop at the knowledge of the ensuing traffic jam. as i opened the door i was engulfed in white light. does god work in frozen foods i thought? hmm, maybe this is what they meant when they said he works in mysterious way. it turned out to be the glare of the lights reflecting off the glass but as i wrapped my hand around the vanilla honey bee pint i knew i had my own little piece of heaven.

i made haste in getting it home to insure none of it would melt. i began to ponder how i would safely transport it to my place of employment. i didn’t want to have my good friend bgg to suffer through bad ice cream so i thought it would be important for me to taste test a little bit of it. as i opened the lid i began to hear harps play. i think it might have been the old lady across the way listening to old people music but either way it felt like something magical was about to happen. as i nibbled into the first little bit there was this smooth silky vanilla taste followed by an ever so elegant hint of honey. not to much. not to little. the goldie locks amount as they say. i had about a 1/10 of the pint that night. concerned for bgg’s safety i decided to keep the pint home another night. i mean what if the smell of the honey got out and she was attacked by bears? not on my watch. i selflessly protected bgg over the next couple days finishing off the pint with no ill side effects or bear attacks. some one has to keep the world safe. even if it means facing their (yummy, yummy) weakness.

McDreamy 🙂

Here’s a link to the ice cream on the Haagen Dazs site in case your curious.
http://www.haagendazs.com/products/product.aspx?id=354

a couple weeks back an associate of mine informed me of a promotional event hosted by a local vendor who does sound design. this however was no run of the mill promo event. this one would require both physical as well as mental skill. of course i am talking about a scavenger hunt. teams of three would venture out into the steel jungle on a quest for the prize. a 32G ipod touch for each member of the winning team. while trying to carefully select the members of my team i began sharpening my scavenger hunting type skills with a heavy routine of sudoku and cross word puzzles.

my first choice was a man who for the sake of anonymityness will simply be known as “the fish”. the fish was a wealth of music trivia knowledge and has an itunes library to match. with him on our side any q&a portion of the hunt should be under control. the final member of the team would be a woman known as “the axe”. i often refer to her as my big sister :). the axe also knows a hefty amount of music trivia and is by no means a woman to be trifled with. should the final score need a recount or some negotiation she would be a good person to have on our side. i can easily see her being on the apprentice one day. all that was needed now was a team name. one that would both inspire the troops and cast fear into the heart of our competitors. the first thing that came to mind was “team initech!”. oh what a very nice piece of flair that ipod would be. the zero hour was fast approaching.

when i arose from my slumber on the day of the scavenger hunt i could smell victory in the air. then again i had forgotten to take the trash out the day before but i digress. the work day passed by quickly. and by the time we were ready to head over to the vendors building i was high on mountain dew and animal crackers.

we arrived early and where able to watch as our competitors slowly dribbled in. if it came down to herculean strength and speed i knew we would win. eat your heart our Kevin Sorbo :P. the playing field appeared pretty level except for the stray music nerd here and there. good thing we had the fish. the event host gathered us around and began to give us instructions. our performance would be based on three things. one would be to answering 20 music trivia question. second would be to gather five items on a list. and lastly our overall time. as the host spoke he held the pieces of paper that contained the q&a and item list. everyone began to eye them like children transfixed at their first magic show. as he finished giving us our instructions he told everyone to some and grab a copy containing the info for the scavenger hunt from him. we lunged at him like soccer moms grabbing for the last tickle me elmo on the shelf. it was on!

charging out the lobby entrance it was a scene reminiscent of the running of the bulls. everyone hungered for victory. if not for the ipod but pride alone. team initech assembled quickly and we laid out our plan of attack. the axe would get a concert ticket stub. the fish a concert poster. this left me to find a kazoo and guitar pic. i motored down 15th street like forrest gump. run mcdreamy! run! this would have looked so cool in slow motion. i arrived at an establishment called “the children’s place”. bursting into the store i pointed at to the clerk and said “i need a kazoo STAT!”. i was quickly hurried to the musical device section. there were many to choose from but since any would do i grabbed the blue and gold one. it was shiny :). i purchased the instrument and headed off to my next destination. the guitar center. a center for guitars. i speedily found the guitar section were one of the competition already was. i contemplated telling her they just ran out of guitar pics but she had already began to converse with the store clerk who had hair reminiscent of the front man from Poison circa 1987. he pointed to where the guitar pics were and i stealthily followed. after grabbing the guitar pics, and without the young woman realizing i was the competition, i was at the cashier and gone. 00McDreamy strikes again.

i began running to the final location dodging pedestrian and pedi cab a like. i should get a heismen for the performance i put on that day. about mid run i got a call from the fish. full of adrenaline i began to think of Top Gun.

the fish: did you get the kazoo?
mcdreamy: iiiiiiiiiiii weeeeeeent toooooooo theeeeeeeee McDanger zone!
the fish: pardon?
mcdreamy: yeah i got the kazoo.
the fish: we still need the coaster from a music venue.
mcdreamy: cool. ill put on the air breaks and he’ll blow right by us.
the fish: wtf are you talking about?
mcdreamy: fish. you can be my wingman anytime.

we were the first to arrive at the finish line and were showered with alcohol, tacos and corn bread. but alas dew to a somewhat suspect scoring system neither our team nor the team of our associates was to be victorious that night. overall the event was excellent and everyone had a great time. so much so that there was talk of putting on another one in the future. i can see it now. “team initech in Scavenger Hunt Redux! the final TPS report.” oh snap!

McDreamy 🙂

this past saturday i arose from my slumber with a hunger for adventure. particularly of the cup caked variety. it was a sunny day out and i had been perusing the intertubes for fun events and such the previous day. while on freenyc i stumbled upon a posting titled cup cake cadets. i was intrigued and clicked for more information. the post said that there was going to be a group of people eating magnolia cup cakes and singing songs. my confectionary curiosity could not be helped so i knew i had to go. besides it sounded fun and it had been a very long time since i had a cup cake.

after gathering my things i headed out to the event. while on the subway i couldn’t help but grin at the thought of stuffing my face with chocolate cup cakes. when i arrived at magnolias there was a bit of a line around the corner. my stomach gurgled in discontent while knowing a magnolia cup cake was totally worth the wait. i considered feigning a handi-cap to cut to the front of the line. there was a hospital a couple blocks away so im sure i could borrow a wheel chair for a few minutes. hmm, maybe if it had been closer. or maybe i could grab a long walking stick and feign blindness. poking at people in front of me until i stumbled inside the store. i then could pretend the cup cake returned my sight after woofing it down. however this being manhattan there really weren’t any suitable trees with long enough branches. so i guess i would have to wait it out.

while in line i began to hear a small group of people singing around the corner. it was the cup cake cadets! there were six woman in pink dresses singing “god bless magnolia’s” while performing choreographed hand movements with cup cakes in hand. i was a little bit away and one of the cadets looked slightly frazzled and sporting a five a clock shadow. after a step or two closer i realized it was actually a man. although feeling slightly awkward after this revelation i did have to give him credit for his ability to walk in heels.

the line began to progress quickly and i was viewing the trays of cup cakes lined up on the other side of the store front glass. i dont know if there was a low flying cloud or something but the window kept fogging up and the door man kept asking me to step back. i guess he was afraid the cloud would get me all soggy or something. while peering through the window the chocolate chocolate cup cakes began to dwindle in number. i started to focus on the one in the upper right corner of the tray. my heart began to race as each of his brothers began to leave him. i tried to look more at the vanilla ones so that people looking out would think those were the good ones and leave the chocolate ones alone. and then it happened. the last of the truffula trees was taken. why?! did i truly come so far to be denied? why! why! oh wait here comes the guy with another tray. sweet!

before long i was walking to the park across the street to sit down and enjoy my little piece of baked heaven. it had at least 20 biznillion times more frosting than was necessary. it was just sagging off the side covering everything. i made sure to grab an ample amount of napkins as this was going to be quite a messy feat. the first bite made me smile but the second made
me fly. my face and hands were covered in frosting. it was as though i was a child who had been given a huge birthday cake and then all the adults left room for me to ingest it anyway i saw fit. after finishing my cup cake i looked around the park. there was many a smiling frosting covered face. we had all certainly found our happy place that day.

McDreamy 🙂

July 2017
M T W T F S S
« Jul    
 12
3456789
10111213141516
17181920212223
24252627282930
31